A Fish Called Selma

D'oh. Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk. Inflammable means flammable? What a country. Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

Homer: Bad Man

Homer no function beer well without. Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?

• That's why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.
• Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk.
• Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly" and replace "dog" with "son."

Homer Alone

Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing? No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer? This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie "The Never Ending Story."

The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

"Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion. D'oh. Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing? Fire can be our friend; whether it's toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.

1. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
2. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?

Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk

I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows. I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows. Inflammable means flammable? What a country. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel.

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